Immigrant Superbug
Suppose a series of studies are published showing that immigrants are bringing a new superbug into the US. Conservatives warn that, if we don’t seal off the mexican border and block all travellers from developing nations and stop issuing new visas, a deadly epidemic will soon sweep the nation.
Oddly enough, most of the supporting research seems to have been published by academics with a conservative bent. I don’t know about you, but I’d be pretty skeptical of the “research” behind this hypothetical crisis.
Let’s go a step further: maybe liberals are less than impressed with the immigrant superbug research, but they’re willing to get behind an alternative policy solution. Specifically, liberals advocate a new program to provide vaccines free-of-charge to immigrant-heavy communities. An effective vaccine for this particular bug has already been developed, and it’s cheap to produce.
Of course, the most vocal conservatives deride this so-called “solution”, pointing out that this policy will not reduce immigration at all… indeed, it could well attract even more immigrants!
… At which point we conclude that this epidemic business, even if it is real, is mostly just a big show for policies conservatives wanted anyway.
A year later, it turns out that the research was correct. Unfortunately, the political deadlock prevents any action until it's too late. Everyone keeps arguing until the epidemic finally does hit, and then everyone dies.
Global Warming
Many studies have been published showing that humans’ CO2 emissions are heating up the Earth dangerously. Liberals warn that, if we don’t slap a big tax on pickup trucks and industrial production and use the revenue to subsidize solar panels and wind farms, then deadly changes to the climate will soon sweep the world.
Oddly enough, most of the supporting research seems to have been published by academics with a liberal bent. Unsurprisingly, conservatives are pretty skeptical of the “research” behind this crisis.
Let’s go a step further: maybe conservatives are less than impressed with the global warming research, but they’re willing to get behind an alternative policy solution. Specifically, conservatives advocate deregulating nuclear power plant construction. The technology is already marketable, so it can easily replace current power sources without any new taxes or regulations.
Of course, the most vocal liberals deride this so-called “solution”, pointing out that this policy will not reduce strip-mining or waste at all, and won’t redistribute any income either.
… at which point we conclude that this global warming business, even if it is real, is mostly just a big show for policies liberals wanted anyway.
Years later, it turns out that the research was correct. Unfortunately, the political deadlock prevents any action until it's too late. Everyone keeps arguing as both polar ice masses melt, and then everyone dies.